Why Not Goddess of Grouchies?

Being the apprentice Goddess of Joy doesn't mean I have a slam-dunk on the "joy track."  I still wake up tired and achy in the morning, just like many of you, often finding it a small challenge to get out of bed, let alone to get out of bed joyfully.  My morning ritual-including a four shot Americano with a splash of water, consumed indulgently in the hot tub, jets running full-blast on my hips and knees-definitely makes a dent in my morning grouchies.  Tall Douglas fir, maples, and many native plants I have no names for cover my backyard, and give me a sense of serenity that is especially welcome these days, what with the divorce, my mourning for my mama, and my impending empty nest after twenty-six solid years of day-to-day mothering.  Starting my day outside in bubbly hot water, listening to the songbirds singing and the crows cackling, how can I not emerge with even a little teensy bit of joy in my heart?  And when there is a break in the clouds, and the sun comes out for the first time in days, (or even weeks,) bright and warm on my face?  It feels like the Goddess is tickling me.  And that reminds me of wonderful times with my big brother George, when I was very little.  He would start tickling and I always started giggling, regardless of the circumstance.  I could be very angry, very sad, even furious to start with, but no matter what, I would end up with unending giggles.

Then there are the extra special days, when the rain is pouring from the sky.  I especially like those days.  You see, I have a perfect setup...standing guard over half of the hot tub is my blue, green, and yellow stripped garden umbrella!  I sit in the tub, looking out on the garden, warm and somewhat dry, but mostly wet, just like I like.  I generally don't bring my laptop out when it's raining, but I do have my Kindle, and my phone so I can Google to my heart's content!  "Hi.  My name is Stevie, and I'm a Googaholic."  Call me silly, but it brings my heart Joy.  And that's what this is all about for me.  You see, I'm a generally joyful soul, but life has handed me some challenges these last few years, and I've been having a hard time re-connecting to the Joy I know is inside of me.  That's why I decided to take this apprenticeship.  I thought that if my work-life focused on finding and creating joy that it would help me bring joy back into my own life.

Some days my morning rituals are very soothing, but some days my grouchies just kind of hang on.  I'm not sure why they do, but I'm trying to live with them without judging them.  Rumi, the 13^th century Sufi poet whose writing is as relevant today as it was 700 years ago, says, "This being human is a guest house.  Every morning a new arrival.  A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.  Welcome and entertain them all!  Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably.  He may be clearing you out for some new delight."  Our negative emotions are just as important as our joyful feelings, because we couldn't have one without the other, wouldn't appreciate one without the other.

Then why, you ask, have I taken an apprenticeship with only the Goddess of Joy, and not also with the Goddess of Grouchies?  I'm so glad you asked that question, because up until this moment, I hadn't known the answer, let alone ask the question.  But it is both an important question and answer.  The answer to the question is that I already have a very generous supply of Grouchies in my life, and don't need any help attracting my fair share; what I need is to balance them with Joy.  And there you have it.  This is my epiphany for the day!  In taking on my quest to one day be able to fill in for the Goddess of Joy, to help others find more joy in their lives, I am steadily un-covering, dis-covering, re-covering Joy of my own.  Join me in this process; it might help you see what you need to add to your life.